It's Gone
I don't know what's come over me
Something's hurt inside
Didn't know what to do
Lonely..
Though I was surrounded by a lot of people..
Still.. I was lonely somehow.
Made me sighed all along
Cried over slightest things..
I was afraid..
Afraid you would see me..
Afraid you wouldn't..
Afraid of how to reach your mind..
But.. I just wasted my time in vain..
You just turn nonchalantly back to them
You never took your eyes off them
It's your world that I couldn't get into..
There's no use for me to hope..
To be in heart-stopping
Or in a blood-pounding
To feel this way from you..
"I didn't exist for you..
My presence didn't affect you.."
I've tried and I'm tired..
Tried to figure out the word "move on" is..
Tired of your act towards myself..
It's clear for me now..
The morning breeze lifted my hair..
The sky was so vast and clear..
The air was passing through my body..
And I found myself fading away as I stepped by..
Daddy's Little Girl
Daddy..
My daddy was a hard-working person.. He worked in Taiwanese factory in Pandaan.. He passed away on March 29th 2006.. He suffered from stroke.. You know, actually he was very healthy.. He jogged every morning.. But as the time went by and the pressure on his own life - which I didn't really comprehend at that time, he started to smoke and drink coffee a li'l bit too much.. But his death was not because of that.. It was stroke..
He cared of me sooooooo much in his whole life. He was always worried about me cuz at that time I was so young while he's getting older.. That makes sense cuz I was born when he's already 48.. And I'm the only daughter that he was longing for.. I was so boyish in my childhood.. So I didn't like to be indulged though my dad wanted me to be.. I kept rejecting him.. That didn't mean I don't love him.. I just couldn't get used to something like that..
When my daddy was young he learned karate.. LOL.. But he loved literature.. His passion for arts flows in my blood.. He's a faithful person.. He's not a jerk who told so many lies.. He's honest and thoughtful.. He LOVES us-whole family- until now. I knew that..
My biggest regret is; I realized all of these praises of him when he's already gone.. I completely regret the fact that I didn't make use of the time well when he was alive..
I'm a real idiot..
One day, someone ever humilated my dad publically.. I was so enrage. It's still clearly saved in my mind about what he wrote down.. For me, his words are trash..!!!! I don't care if it was his own thought or he just wanna hurt me.. The fact is, HE humilated my dad..!! You don't know a thing about him, you slacker..!! Just think the same thing is done to your father..! You have no idea about my life..!
I miss you dad.. You've gone when I was so damn stupid.. That made not really much thing I remember about you.. I know you always wanted a daughter who is gentle, so girly, kind, being very nice to you, and so on.. I'm so sorry dad.. I couldn't make your wish came true.. I know you want the best for me.. Your love and mom's exceed anyone else's.. I really miss you, dad.. Please stay in my heart.. Promise..? I love you until the end of time, my daddy..
...
Oh My Goodness...
Yesterday I got a shocking package from Jakarta..
I joined some kind of quiz to win SHINee Hello Album.. And I won...!!!!!
I never won anything before.. So this is sooooooooooooo much fun for me..
Though it's just a slight thing.. hehehehe..
New Year New Year..
I ended 2010 with my beloved sis..
Though we actually have nothing to do.. It's so fun to stick around with her..
hehehehe..
